gone girl.

I just watched Gone Girl and it's wild!
After watching, i had a hangover from the ending so i tried reading reviews and the likes. I stumble upon how Amy was the Cool Girl, and Nick was the Charming Man. It was picture perfect as cliche as it would seem but that's how both of them fell in love, by satisfying each other's wants. But living for another person's satisfaction never lasts and it gets fucked up in the long run because it is exhausting. Pretending to be someone you are not just so you could get something you want is so pitiful. However it has got me thinking this late at night, that the courting and dating phase is always, always like this. We paint a picture of ourself, present a version of us that we think is more or most likeable, pleasing, and attractive to potential partners. And that is why i think that the dating culture, if you would call it that, is fucked up and i dont subscribe to it anymore. We sell ourselves implicitly by imploring the marketable side of us, something that others might find comfortable but not too comfortable. And the dating phase is the phase of establishment of feelings and desires that makes you to want more. and more. Nothing goes wrong when one is dating somebody. We perceive the person as perfect, just someone we want to be with, someone to fight for and not someone you would rather fight with. I really think it stems from that. That way how delusional we are when we thought we can work the relationship out or said to each other no matter what either better or worse. Dating is selling us the perception of a perfect relationship, of the perfect partner, when in fact you last longer when you admit and consciously know you are not perfect and neither is the relationship. 
I dont know. It is late. And i am going through these thoughts right now making me more scared about the idea of marriage and even more motivated to not marry. If i happen to marry, i think i would be with someone i am friends with or someone i know for a long time. Someone i know what, where, when, and how to push the buttons. Marraige is about tolerance. And we'll see if i have enough patience for that.