twenty.

funny how turning 20 also means turning sad.

it’s the end of a happy childhood and the beginning of a melancholic adulthood. no wins, just losses.

losing your carefree self, losing your passion, and losing easy-earned genuine happiness.

i would have never wanted to grow up and grow old if i have only known it would be like this – inconsolable.

sometimes i ponder upon the thought, why do i think i know so much when i was eighteen but i know nothing now that im twenty.

in high school, i was an architect, full of plans. now im a helpless mathematician full of problems.

how can someone be good at figures but cannot figure out something.

to turn twenty is weird, at least for me. am i old enough to be decisive? or decisive enough to not wanna grow old?

when one is innocent, a lot of doors are unopened.

the discoveries we make each day feel like the excitement we have when opening christmas presents.

but where is that excitement now that innocence is but hanging by a thread.

few doors are opened easily.

some doors are hard to close.

and most doors are even harder to open.

yeah i get it. age is just a number. so is the rollercoaster of turning twenty just a phase?